For my life!!!

Keep thinking of something for the whole day and it’s really annoying. I know that it sounds crazy but I really hope that today is my last day on the earth. Suddenly I feel so lonely. No one could ever understand my feeling. I am like isolated from anything, even my family. Just don’t know why, I feel like killing myself now. Hopefully I won’t do some stupid things. I don’t have to worry about my sister anymore. She has grown up and she is now much more mature compared to last time. My mom told me something yesterday which made me really think a lot. I am trying to keep all the sadness to myself and not to let anyone know it. Lying on my bed and keep thinking and thinking. Suddenly my heart is full with hatred which it never happened before. Hate everything even myself. I am so so depressed. Why is it like that? This question keeps running through my mind over and over again. I don’t feel like studying anymore. I don’t feel like staying with my family anymore. All I want is just a place with no people and I will pass my every single reading book and doing all the stuff I want to do. This reminds me of a short story which I’ve studied before when I was in secondary school. Well, the title of the short story was the lotus eater. The story is that Wilson traded a life of boring routine in London for an equally mundane life in Capri. However, this irony is only on the part of everyone else except Thomas Wilson, for he enjoyed his life on Capri thoroughly. What is definitely sad is that he lived a wonderful 25 years of pleasure and ended the last 6 living like a wild animal. Wilson's choice to leave his London life behind in exchange for a life of leisure on Capri is at once awesome as well as tragic. It is awesome because it resonates with every young traveler who has gone abroad and marveled at the comparison between some wonderful new place and the routine dullness of his familiar life at home but it is also tragic because he did not provide himself with enough funds to live well into his natural time of death. If Wilson had carefully planned his retirement from his banking job, saving enough money in the process, the last 6 years of his miserable life might well have been avoided. Even though the story ends with a sad ending, but I am still enjoy reading the story because I think that Thomas Wilson had did his decision and he really enjoys the life there before he was ran out of cash to continue his life there. I would like this kind of lifestyle too…All I wish, all I want, all turn nothing…

BAD GIRL BY DANITY KANE Feat. MISSY ELLIOTT

May be disturbing...