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Sunday, November 30, 2008

Legal Pronouncement in Islam

Having wine with my parents now.So,i can't really blog about anything for today's post...Hehe...Well,i am gonna put some pronouncement in Islam for you guys to read and i think that it's kinda funny...Enjoy and i am going back to have my wine...Ahahaha...

Makin hari umat Islam makin ditindas dan dikongkong. Bukan oleh orang Cina, atau orang India atau orang Yahudi atau orang Kristian. Tetapi dianiya dan dikongkong oleh orang Islam/Melayu sendiri. Please read on.

Selepas fatwa pengharaman yoga, fatwa-fatwa yang akan datang adalah seperti berikut :

Disember 2008
Orang Islam dilarang mandi di kolam renang awam. Di kolam renang awam, akan terdapat orang-orang yang bukan Islam yang memakai pakaian renang yang singkat dan mendedahkan aurat (terutamanya amoi-amoi china yang cun dan seksi). Ini boleh menjejaskan akidah orang Islam. Cara yang paling baik ialah kita haramkan orang Islam dari kolam renang awam.

Januari 2009
Orang Islam dilarang pergi ke Pulau Pinang. Ketua Menteri Pulau Pinang adalah seorang yang bukan Islam and majoriti penduduk Pulau Pinang adalah orang yang bukan Islam. Apabila seorang Islam berada di Pulau Pinang, beliau mungkin terhidu bau char keoy tiaw yang dimasak oleh orang bukan Islam dan ini boleh merosakkan akidah kita. Cara yang paling baik ialah kita haramkan orang Islam dari pergi ke Pulau Pinang. Orang Islam yang kini tinggal di Pulau Pinang akan diberi elaun pindah sebanyak RM 3000 untuk membantu mereka berpindah ke negeri-negeri yang lain. Perpindahan ke negeri Kelantan dan Terengganu amat amat digalakkan.

Februari 2009
Orang Islam dilarang meminum root beer. Walaupun root beer tidak mengandungi alkohol, namun perkataan "beer" ini boleh menimbulkan keghairan dan kelakuan tidak senonoh di kalangan orang Islam. Dengan pengharaman root beer, orang Islam bolehlah meminum minuman ringan yang lain tanpa was-was. Ginger beer juga diharamkan.

March 2009
Orang Islam dilarang memakan di kedai Mamak. Walaupun mamak kebanyakkannya Islam, tetapi asal usul mereka adalah India dan ada kemungkinan terdapat unsur-unsur India di dalam perniagaan mereka seperti bercakap Tamil dan memakai seluar dalam buatan India. Untuk mengelakkan sebarang syak wasangka, mulai 1 Mac 2009, orang Islam dilarang dari memakan di kedai mamak (kecuali Tun Mahatir kerana dia sendiri mamak kelas I)

April 2009
Orang Islam dilarang bermain ping pong atau table tennis. Ping pong berasal dari negeri China dan oleh yang demikian, mungkin terdapat unsur-unsur agama Buddha atau Confuciusism di dalam permainan ping pong. Ornag Islam yang terlalu banyak bermain ping pong akan terjejas akidah mereka. Sebagai permainan alternatif, orang Islam digalakkan bermain sepak raga (tetapi bola raga mesti buatan Malaysia, bukan dari Thailand).

Mei 2009
Orang Islam yang berkerja dengan kerajaan dilarang mengambil gaji masing-masing. Ini kerana sebahagian besar pendapatan kerajaan adalah cukai pendapatan yang dibayar oleh syarikat-syarikat orang bukan Islam. Orang Islam digalakkan meminta sedekah dari orang Islam yang lain. Untuk memudahkan permintaan sedekah, bakal peminta sedekah digalakkan mencangkung di hadapan bangunan UMNO.

Jun 2009
Orang Islam dilarang keluar negara. Terdapat terlalu banyak godaan yang boleh meruntuhkan akhlak dan akidah orang Islam. Perkara ini telahpun dikaji dengan teliti hasil lawatan sambil belajar ke Bangkok oleh Majlis Fatwa Kebangsaan baru-baru ini. Oleh yang demikian, orang orang Islam diminta menyerahkan balik paspot masing-masing ke jabatan immigresen secepat mungkin. Perjalanan keluar negara hanya dibenarkan untuk menteri-menteri dan orang kuat UMNO sahaja, itupun hanya jika diiringi oleh ahli Majlis Fatwa Kebangsaan.

Julai 2009
Orang Islam dilarang berfikir di waktu siang. Kebanyakkan masalah jenayah dan maksiat wujud kerana orang-orang yang tak ada kerja berfikir yang bukan-bukan. Untuk membenteras maslah jeneyah dan maksiat, orang-orang Islam mulai 1 Julai 2009, dilarang dari menggunakan otak mereka diwaktu siang. Pemikiran mereka akan dipantau oleh Majlis Fatwa Kebangsaan dengan menggunakan sekumpulan specially trained monkeys. Orang Islam boleh menggunakan otak mereka di waktu malam tetapi pemikiran dihadkan kepada perkara-perkara berkaitan dengan makan dan minum sahaja.

Please do not laugh. Many of the above will become a reality if we do not do anything. The rational-thinking muslims in this country are simply not doing anything. We let a very small minority of narrow-minded idiots to control our lives. We, especially the Malay muslims, are fast becoming a laughing stock worldwide. We are obsessed with the little little things.

When there are so many important things remain to be done, why must the Fatwa folks spend their time on little things.. tomboys, yoga, etc, etc. Why don't we ever hear anything from the Fatwa folks for social justice, eradicating corruption and poverty, protecting single mothers, helping the poors, educating the ummah, protecting the environment or ensuring fairness in society.
Ps:It's just for fun with no offend for any races...


HEAVEN'S A LIE BY LACUNA COIL

Wine wine wine...

Saturday, November 29, 2008

Boring...

Customer : Waiter, do you serve crabs?
Waiter : Please sit down sir, we serve everyone.


Customer: Waiter, is this a lamb chop or pork chop?
Waiter : Can't you tell the difference by taste?
Customer : No, I can't.
Waiter : Then does it really matter?

Customer : Waiter, there's a dead beetle in my soup.
Waiter : Yes sir, they are not very good swimmers.

Customer : Waiter, there's a fly in my soup.
Waiter : That's all right sir, he won't drink much.

Customer : Waiter, there's a fly swimming in my soup.
Waiter : So what do you expect me to do, call a lifeguard?

Customer : Waiter, what's the meaning of this fly in my tea up?
Waiter : I wouldn't know sir, I'm a waiter, not a fortune teller.

Customer : Waiter, this soup tastes funny.
Waiter : Funny? But then why aren't you laughing?

Lady : Is this my train?
Station Master : No, it belongs to the Railway Company.
Lady : Don't try to be funny. I mean to ask if I can take this train to New Delhi.
Station Master : No Madam, I'm afraid it's too heavy.

Teacher : Peter, why are you late for school again?
Peter : Well, Miss, I dreamed that I was playing football and The game went into extra time.

Wife : Do you want dinner?
Husband : Sure, what are my choices?
Wife : Yes and no.

A drunkard was brought to court. Just before the trial there was a Commotion in the gallery.The judge pounded the gravel on his table and shouted, "Order, order."The drunkard immediately responded, "Thank you, your honor, I'll have A scotch and soda."

Customer : If I post this letter tonight, will it get to Delhi in Two days time?
Post Master : Yes sir, it definitely will.
Customer : I bet you, it won't.
Post Master : Why not?
Customer : It's addressed to Mumbai.

An absent-minded man went to see a psychiatrist.'My trouble is,' he said, 'that I keep forgetting things.''How long has this been going on?' asked the psychiatrist.'How long has what been going on?' said the man.

Girl : Do you love me?
Boy : Yes Dear.
Girl : Would you die for me?
Boy : No, mine is undying love.

1st thief : Oh ! The police is here. Quick! Jump out of the window!
2nd thief : But this is the 13th floor.
1st thief : Hurry! This is no time for superstitions.

Man : How old is your father?
Boy : As old as me.
Man : How can that be?
Boy : He became a father only when I was born.

Teacher : Correct the sentence, "A bull and a cow is grazing in the Field
Student : A cow and a bull is grazing in the field
Teacher : How?
Student : Ladies first.

Waiter : I've stewed liver, boiled tongue and frog's leg.
Customer : Don't tell me your problems. Give the menu card.

Little Susie came running into the house after school one day,Shouting,"Daddy! Daddy! I got a 100 in school today!""That's great, Sweetheart," said her daddy."Come in to the living room and tell me about it.""Well," began the confession, "I got 50 in spelling, 30 in math's and20 in science."


I WISH YOU LOVED ME BY TYNISHA KELI

Anything nice????

Friday, November 28, 2008

Bye INTI!!!

Finally,i was back to my home by this evening.Dad arrived at my college around 10am and we went to Giant to take my earphones and buy a cooling pad for my sister.We had our lunch at John Kopitiam before we start our long journey from nilai back to Alor Star.After lunch,it was a long and tired journey.Well,it's okay since i am now lying on my comfortable bed.=) For my friends that asked me out to somewhere last night,thanks for giving me such a great memory before leaving.I really like it...=D Somehow,someone can't get her mission accomplished.Wahahaha...Nice one!!!Lim Lim,you are so great in drinking...Muahahahaha...=P Kinda tired now and i wanna rest earlier because i haven't sleep for the past 24 hours...Nightzzz...

CIRCUS BY BRITNEY SPEARS

Love in such a way so that it won't hurt...

Memories!!!



THANK YOU BY DIDO

Thanks a lot guys!!!

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Surgeons Preference‏!!!

Five surgeons from big cities are discussing who makes the easiest patients to operate on.
The first surgeon, from Singapore, says, 'I like to see accountants on my operating table, because when
you open them up, everything inside is numbered'
The second, from Bangkok, responds, 'Yeah, but you should try electricians! Everything inside them is
colour coded.'
The third surgeon, from Bejing says, 'No, I really think librarians are the best, everything inside them
is in alphabetical order.'
The fourth surgeon, from Jarkarta , chimes in: 'You know, I like construction workers... those guys always
understand when you have a few parts leftover.'
But the fifth surgeon, from KL , shut them all up when he observed: 'You're all wrong. Politicians from Malaysia UMNO are
the easiest to operate on. There's no guts, no heart, no balls, no brains and no spine, and the head and
the arse are interchangeable.


LOVE SURREAL BY MELISSA INDOT

That's the way,Girl,That's the way...

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

Whoa!!!


Phew!!!Finally i have finished packing all my stuff and i was shocked after i've done with it because i will have to carry 8 big bags back to my home.Oh my GOD,that would be heavy for me even though i know that i am strong...xD Aikz...Leaving soon.I still can't believe that it's true.Like what WZ said,i am still thinking that i have another semester coming but in fact there's nothing else.Went to Intima Office for the last time before going back to my home.Intima Office,a place where i used to hang out last time.2 days left before i move all my stuff out from my room.Time to say GOOD BYE...

PHONOGRAPHY BY BRITNEY SPEARS

Tata everyone and everything...

Monday, November 24, 2008

I miss A-level clan...

Well,nothing much today and i just simply missing my A-level clan members...='( Listening to certain music,looking at those photos that full with sweet memories,really feel like crying at this moment.Somehow,i had stopped crying since stanard 6 and most probably won't cry anymore.Really miss them...

LEAVE OUT ALL THE REST BY LINKIN PARK

Happy to say that i am no longer single...
=)

Sunday, November 23, 2008

Madagascar 2 ROCKS!!!

Went to mid valley since 9am in the morning and i was just back to my room and it's almost 12 midnight.Well,i am gonna summarize it into short.Upon arriving in mid valley,we met up with DH.Then,we went to GSC counter to buy the tickets for Madagascar 2.Then,we had our lunch at so called fish market restaurant.After that,went for that movie.Apparently,it's really a nice movie which will bring a lot of happiness.Hehe...I laughed like no one there while watching that movie.Nice one!!!After movie,went to Starbucks cafe to have a drink and have some rest.After resting for a while,we made our move to BORDER and MPH because i was trying to search for a book.However,my luck wasn't that good because both of the bookshops didn't have that book.Aikz...I guess i will have to buy it online though.Since i can't get the book,i decided to look for the other books and fortunately i've found a book which i think it's pretty nice for me to read.Somehow,DH said that the beginning of the story is pretty EMO.Lolz...Well,it doesn't that bad after i've read the first chapter.After hanging around inside MPH for quite a long time,we decided to go to ZEN MAI to have our dinner.YES,you are right!Had beers again!Somemore DH kept asking me to stop EMO-ing cause i was in silent mode for all the time while we were having dinner.Ahaha...Then,we sent her to the main entrance there for cab because it's time for her to go back and teach her student.Hehe...DH,don't torture that fella ya...Lolz...Then,we took KTM to back to Nilai.Coincidently met the A2 girls gang were in the train as well.So,we joined them and have some talk within the whole journey.Well,something happened when we were trying to take the bus to go back to Inti.A fella which looks like had taken drugs was on the bus as well and the girls were so afraid due to his crazy actions.He has been requested to get down from the bus by the owner of the bus company or what so ever in order to protect the other passengers on that bus.Somehow,he refused to get down and start negotiating with the owner.In the end,the bus drove on with that fella on the bus.Luckily he didn't do anything which will threaten the passengers,if not....=X Well,it's another day with nice memories!!!

THE TRAVELING SONG BY WILL I AM

Girl shouldn't travel alone!!!

Saturday, November 22, 2008

Save me!!!

Oh Gosh!I never had this kind of feeling before...It's really bad.The first time with nothing in my mind.Left a friend with me at this college.Aikz...Other than that,there is no one else left.Will die soon due to this boring life...Better find something to do...Ciaozzz...

YOU MAKE ME WANNA BY USHER

Boring...

Friday, November 21, 2008

It's OVER!!!

It's my last paper before finishing the whole A-level course and it's now over...*Jumping all around*...It's really a nice day for all of us(A-level clan) because we just had our FAREWELL PARTY at the swimming pool area.Ahahaha...The western food were pretty nice and delicious.=D My tummy is going to get bigger...Muahahaha...Who cares...Lolz...Everyone of us just kept taking photos with friends and the only 2 lecturers that attended this crazy party.Special thanks to Mr. WONG Pak Hui and Mr. TAI Teck Wah!!!So fast,our course has finished.All of us going to leave Inti soon.='( Man,i am sure that i am going to miss this.All of us were having fun by taking photos,having the food together with whole bunch of friends as well as kept splashing water at friends.It was so CRAZY but i like it. xD Took a photo with the whole A-level members but the photo is not with me now and i will upload it later.In the meantime,let's have a look at these photos that took by me or may be my friends.Ahahaha...Thanks for giving me such a good memories!!!Love you guys and may GOD bless you guys!!!Thank euuuuuuuuu for all the lecturers for teaching us.Thanks for everything!!!Mr.Tai is showing how nice the veggie is...xDMr.Wong is drinking MUSHROOM SOUP by using cup!!!



MEMORIES BY THE SILENT FORCE

Going back on next Friday...

Before that...

I must enjoy myself by Thursday night!!!

Ahahaha...

Thursday, November 20, 2008

Lesson in Logic...

If your father is a poor man,
it is your fate but,
if your father-in-law is a poor man,
it's your stupidity.
..........................................................................
I was born intelligent -
education ruined me.
..........................................................................
Practice makes perfect.....
But nobody's perfect......
so why practice?
..........................................................................
If it's true that we are here to help others,
then what exactly are the others here for?
..........................................................................
Since light travels faster than sound,
people appear bright until you hear them speak.
..........................................................................
How come 'abbreviated' is such a long word?
..........................................................................
Money is not everything.
There's Mastercard & Visa.
..........................................................................
One should love animals.
They are so tasty.
..........................................................................
Behind every successful man, there is a woman
And behind every unsuccessful man, there are two.
..........................................................................
Every man should marry.
After all, happiness is not the only thing in
life.
..........................................................................
The wise never marry.
and when they marry they become otherwise.
..........................................................................
Success is a relative term.
It brings so many relatives.
..........................................................................
Never put off the work till tomorrow
what you can put off today.
..........................................................................
'Your future depends on your dreams'
So go to sleep
..........................................................................
There should be a better way to start a day
Than waking up every morning
..........................................................................
'Hard work never killed anybody'
But why take the risk
..........................................................................
'Work fascinates me'
I can look at it for hours
..........................................................................
God made relatives;
Thank God we can choose our friends.
..........................................................................
The more you learn, the more you know,
The more you know, the more you forget
The more you forget, the less you know
So.. why learn.
..........................................................................
A bus station is where a bus stops..
A train station is where a train stops.
On my desk, I have a work station....
what more can I say........


I HATE THIS PART BY PUSSYCAT DOLLS

Should really get someone into my life...
Lolz...

Alcohol night...

Haha...Beer and Wine night!!!Muahahahaha...Down to Sunway Pyramid right after my Chemistry paper 1.Lolz...Met DongHwa and Eileen up and then we went to friendster cafe there to have some 'drink'.It's kinda weird to have BEER around that time.Well,will have to try everything that's new for me.Ahaha...Surprisingly,i didn't get drunk by drinking the beer.Hehe...Opss,i did get drunk.DH,you have got your mission accomplished.=D After hanging out at the friendster cafe there for hours,we went to Italianese to have our dinner.Coincidently met the famous clubbing girl,Miss APRIL.Hahahaha...She was having dinner with her friends inside the restaurant as well.Hmm...Guess what we have for our drink while having dinner?RED WINE!!!Lolz...Alcohol and alcohol again.Crazy man!!!Out of tiredness,i wasn't like the normal me.I did not talk much.I am sorry if i did make anyone of you get bored.Can't think properly with a tired mind like that.Hopefully i didn't screw up anything.Somehow,i am quite happy to hang out with friends like that if i could just stop thinking about the useless thing.Just don't think about it man,it's won't be yours.Stop dreaming and start getting yourself into another matter that would make you stop thinking of her.WZ,JON,DH,BOBBY and EILEEN,thank euuuuuuuuuu for getting me a nice evening.=) Still left the last Physics paper 1 before i finished my A-level at Inti.

LUCKY BY JASON MRAZ Feat. COLBIE CAILLAT

Hey,nice to meet you Bobby and thanks for the dinner...=D
Finally,i've learnt how to pour the beer into the cup...Hehe...

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Ice box...

Fussin' and fightin', we back at it again
I know that, it's my fault, but you don't understand (no)
I got memories, this is crazy
You ain't nothing like the girl I used to know
Good with ma, good with pa, cool with all my niggas
I should try, truth is I wanna let u in, but no
Damn these memories, and it's crazy
You ain't nothing like the girl I used to know
[Bridge]
Girl I really wanna work this out, cause I'm tired of fightin'
And I really hope you still want me the way I want you
I said I really wanna work this out, damn girl I'm tryin'
It's no excuse, no excuse
But I got this
I got this icebox where my heart used to be (but I got this)
I got this icebox where my heart used to be (said I got this)
I'm so cold, I'm so cold, I'm so cold, I'm so cold
I'm so cold, I'm so cold, I'm so cold
Why can't I get it right, just can't let it go
I opened up, she let me down, I won't feel that no more
I got memories, this is crazy
She ain't nothing like the girl I used to know
I don't mean to take it out on you baby but I can't help it
'Cause my heart is in the same ol' condition that baby left it
And I, I apologize, for makin' you cry
Look me in my eye and promise you won't do me the same
[Bridge]
Girl I really wanna work this out, 'cause I'm tired of fightin'
And I really hope you still want me the way I want you
I said I really wanna work this out, damn girl I'm tryin'
It's no excuse, no excuse
But I got this
I got this icebox where my heart used to be (but I got this)
I got this icebox where my heart used to be (said I got this)
I'm so cold, I'm so cold, I'm so cold, I'm so cold
I'm so cold, I'm so cold, I'm so cold
I don't wanna be stuck up in this cold cold world ('cause I don't wanna be)
Don't wanna mess this up better keep your eye on me girl
[Bridge]
Girl I really wanna work this out, cause I'm tired of fightin'
And I really hope you still want me the way I want you
I said I really wanna work this out, damn girl I'm tryin'
It's no excuse, no excuse
But I got this
I got this icebox where my heart used to be (but I got this)
I got this icebox where my heart used to be (said I got this)
I'm so cold, I'm so cold, I'm so cold, I'm so cold
I'm so cold, I'm so cold, I'm so cold


DECODE BY PARAMORE

I just need to make up my mind as soon as possible...

Monday, November 17, 2008

How nice is nice?

Each day,i am looking for something special to happen.No matter is sad or happy,as long as there's something that special,it would be great enough to make my day.People used to say that i am always thinking in a positive ways.In fact,i will only start thinking positively after i got to know the consequences of thinking negatively.I know it's not easy to do so.Well,proud to say that i am able to behave just like that.Cherish every moment of my life.Good and bad will be equalized.Just remember that if there is no bad,there will be no good as well,no enemy,no friend and so on.Every single thing will make my life unique.Change my thoughts,change my mind,to be accepted by most of the people.Happy is not created by others but it's created by yourself.No one could ever affect your emotion.Learn to say thank you when you get something from others.Learn to say sorry when you offended someone.Just remember that sorry it's just a word that out from your mouth.The most important thing is your heart must be truly meant it.Don't simply say sorry if you didn't mean it.Is all BULLSHIT...Try to know yourself before you are trying to know others.Try to be good by comparing yourself to the bad.Well,end of the words of the month.Ciaozzz...

LET IT ROCK BY LIL WAYNE Feat. KEVIN RUDOLF

In love with a girl???