DON'T THINK I DON'T THINK ABOUT IT BY DARIUS RUCKER
I am missing you badly!!!
But do you know it???
NATIONAL CAR: Proton.
2nd NATIONAL CAR: Perodua Kancil.
3rd NATIONAL CAR: Perodua Tikus it's suppose to be half the size of the Kancil,
but somehow Malaysian drivers will still be able to squeeze in 6 or 7
NATIONAL BEHAVIOR AT CAR SHOWROOMS:
First walk towards the car you are interested in. Then walk around the car in
circles, tapping and knocking every part of the chassis with your knuckles.
Then say something like "Body not very solid..." After that approach
the front left tire, give it a few hard kicks to "test" the tire. Next
walk to the rear right side and press the body of the car down a few times,
while exclaiming "wah, asorbar not bad". Now you are ready for a
Get into the car and give the steering wheel a few turns. Flash the lights,
sound the horn, recline the seats, open up every compartment etc. Do all these
tests while you're pretending to read the brochure.
Final test: get out of the car and slam the door a few times to check for
"solid sound". If satisfied, approach salesman and ask "How much
loan can take?"
NATIONAL RICE COOKER:
National Rice Cooker 99% of Malaysian households use a National Rice Cooker, the
other 1% don't eat rice.
NATIONAL BREAKFAST (ON THE WAY TO WORK):
Nasi Lemak Who cooks and eats nasi lemak at home for breakfast?
NATIONAL BREAKFAST (AT HOME):
Maggi Mee. Also the national lunch and dinner if you're an outstation student,
bachelor, neglected husband, lazy fella, etc.
NATIONAL EXCUSE FOR HAIR LOSS:
NATIONAL EXCUSE FOR BEING LATE:
None. Most Malaysians still feel embarrassed buying condoms. So they rushed in
to a Seven Eleven, hurriedly grab the nearest pack, any pack, pay and leave
before the cashier can even blink an eye. If it's not available, Malaysians
optimistically apply the other birth control method. (See below)
NATIONAL FRUIT FOR INDUCING MENSTRUATION:
NATIONAL APHRODISIAC DRINK:
Stout. Many swear by it. But after a few pints they start swearing at
NATIONAL FAKE ILLNESS FOR GETTING MC (MEN):
NATIONAL FAKE ILLNESS FOR GETTING MC (WOMEN):
NATIONAL EXCUSES GIVEN BY WOMEN WHEN REFUSING SEX:
Headache, kids not asleep, maid not asleep, mother-in-law around, early
appointment, food not digested yet, air conditioner not cold enough, air conditioner too cold,
nail polish not dry yet, forgot to take the pill, sleepy, stomach cramps,
menstruation, haven't remove makeup, haven't shower, no water supply, going to
watch "Santa Barbara", depress, no mood, etc.
NATIONAL EXCUSES GIVEN BY MEN WHEN REFUSING SEX:
NATIONAL SECRET SEXUAL DESIRE OF MALAYSIAN MEN:
Transvestites Every heterosexual male Malaysian seem to have a secret desire for
a "bapok". On a Saturday night, they flocked to all those places where
the transvestites hang out. They ogle at them, tease them, pay for their
"services", etc. They never fail to honk in excitement when they see
one on the road. And the Saturday night outings to these places are always in a
group of three or four male friends. It's a kind of Malaysian male bonding.
Yes. Male bonding by seeking out men dressed up as women. It's no wonder that
drag shows such as "Paper Dolls" are ever so popular in Malaysia.
NATIONAL CURE FOR HEADACHES:
Panadol the "cure all" for Malaysians. If it fails we have another
secret weapon; Tiger Balm.
NATIONAL CURE FOR DIZZINESS:
Minyak Angin Cap Kapak
NATIONAL CAUSE OF DIZZINESS (FOR YUPPIES):
NATIONAL INSTANT CURE FOR DIZZINESS (FOR YUPPIES):
The sight of a police road block.(If you get caught,don't worry,there's always a way to solve it...You should know if you are a MALAYSIAN.)